Sunday, August 23, 2009

On being pregnant

Yes, we are pregnant.  Getting geared up for our second. We are very excited and nervous all at the same time.  Two kids...oh my!

The hardest part for me is the pregnancy itself.  It seems that pregnancy is usually described as a beautiful and incredible journey.  Don't get me wrong, the whole process of your body growing this little person inside of you is incredible, but sometimes the journey is not that much fun.  I have been terribly sick with this pregnancy.  It's been a rough summer for me and for my dear husband who just the other day declared that he felt like he had his wife back.  I have just been miserable.   The experiences of our past are fresh anew in my mind as well...2 miscarriages and then my pregnancy with Zachary which landed me on bed rest and labor at 26 weeks.  We are very fortunate that Zachary did so well in the NICU during those 7 1/2 weeks he was there.  He is a beautiful 2 year old. That experience, however, makes me stop every time I feel a little soar or pain or anything.  It's a little bit of paranoia, I admit, but it's just my reality.

So lately I have been feeling better.  I have more energy, more motivation and just feeling alive again.  I still have to run to the bathroom here and there when my sensitive sense of smell kicks in.  I also worry too much when I am soar or feeling a little weird (even though I know my body is going through so much change, being uncomfortable sometimes is not unusual), but most days I am doing well.  As I sit here today I feel thankful and so very excited about this baby.  I am still nervous, but I know that I can only do what I can do; try to get good rest, eat well and relax.  I am most thankful that during the past month and half, Jesus has been walking with me.  I know I have done a lot of moaning and complaining to Him, yet He is still loving me and caring for me. So each day there is one thing I know I must do, give it all to Him.  Whatever happens on this journey, I know Jesus walks with all of us.  Praise God that He sent His beautiful Son, Jesus, for I know I can not do life without Him!

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