Dreaming

What is your dream?   What things do you wish for that you believe will bring fulfillment to your life or perhaps will simply make things easier?   I realized this morning that I have many.

I dream for a new car, a minivan actually. 

 I really believe it will make our lives much easier now that we are a family of 4. 

I also dream about being out of debt.  

We have 4 more months of paying on our debt reduction and then we are out of debt, besides our house and Brian's student loans.  That will give us a nice extra chunk of money each month that we are not paying on our debt reduction.  Oh what we can do with that!   

(We can go into debt again and buy a car!)

I want to fence in the back yard, because how much easier will that be for me!   I won't have to chase my kids around outside.  I can do gardening and not worry about them running away.   Oh and there is the house.  I would LOVE to have the upstairs painted.  It's all white now.  I'd love to get curtains up and finish our front room.  We want to make it a sitting area with bookshelves, a round coffee table and comfy chairs.  Oh and I really want to replace the light hanging in our kitchen and the front room.  It would be so much more pretty and welcoming to guests. 

 And to get a garage door opener....SO much easier!

I could go on and on and on.  Can you relate?  I often say things like, "when we win the lottery!".  

Sigh. 

I know we never will, mainly because we don't even play it, 

which my husband points out to me each time.  

This morning, during my readings, God spoke a word of grace to me.

I need to let go of those dreams.  Oh, they may happen one day, although we have lived here for 2 years and sometimes feel like we'll never get them done.

But they really aren't what fulfills me.  What brings me the most joy, the most peace, the most fulfillment is my family.  I do not know what tomorrow will bring.  I do not know how long I have on this earth, but as a wise wizard once said to a small hobbit, 

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."  

I can spend all my time and days planning and hoping and wishing on these things. 

I can spend all my money on making these dreams come true.

Or

I can spend my time, my energy and my money on doing things with my family, friends and God's people.  I am blessed, with a wonderful husband, beautiful children, lots of family, great friends, a warm home, food on the table several times a day, clothes on my back, a car that runs...

Oh, I have so much.

My dreams are changing.

We will continue to do projects around the house.  Some of those will happen.

But now I dream of playing in the sand with my kids at the beach, traveling to visit family and friends, giving what I can to help those around me who are in need, spending my money and my time on things that matter in this life, for I desire to treasure the time that has been given to me.

This is what brings me fulfillment.

Dearest Jesus, continue to convict my heart and change my dreams into those which will most benefit me and the people around me.  May your Spirit fill me with peace and joy as I seek to do your will in my life.  For I know you have plans for my future, plans filled with hope, joy and life to the fullest.  Thank you for this life.  May I treasure each day I have and use my time and resources wisely.

Amen.